Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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