its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
