whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
