i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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