just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it glows. i had to have it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
