Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
