So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
