yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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