listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
