Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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