What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
