It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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