Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
