I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
