I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
