I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
