The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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