I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize