this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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