i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
