Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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