he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
