I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
