I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
