Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
