i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
