I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
