Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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