My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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