so explain again why im purple
no
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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