I am full of burrito and curiosity
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
