so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
