I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
