Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
