Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
