I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
