Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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