Pregnant stripper...not hot.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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