Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
