I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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