"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Bring me that man meat
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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