put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
