So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
