i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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