We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
