Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
