i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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