if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize