dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
