Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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