On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
