Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
