i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
