Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
