Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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