You're so nebulous sometimes
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize